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About Video - "One of life's apex experiences is good sex."
There's a lot of sex in the media, on TV, in movies, but reading some of the novels you recommend gives me a somewhat different perspective on it, which is fascinating. Do you believe that sex is actually about?
Three things are important: connection, connection, and connection. A deep, not just physical, but emotional connection is at the heart of very good sex. I'm not trying to be mysterious, but I believe that wonderful sex is one of life's apex experiences—and I'm not just talking about climax. The link is what I'm referring to. It could be a connection with oneself or with another individual. It could theoretically be a connection with a lot of other people, but that's a subject for another day.
"One of life's apex experiences is good sex."
A toxic connection, or a lack of connection, lies at the heart of bad sex. Today, we have a lot more opportunities for positive connections, but we also have a lot more opportunities for negative, toxic, or misdirected connections. As an optimist, I believe in the good connection, but there's no disputing that things have potentially gotten much more poisonous in the decade since you and I first started chatting about sex novels.
What exactly do you mean when you say that?
I say this because folks with sexual difficulties contact me or write to me every week. And I realise that, while sex is simpler in certain ways nowadays, it is far more complicated in others.
It's a lot more difficult now than it was before. There has certainly been an increase in misogynist and misandrist sexuality, as well as violent pornography.
The solution is not to remove everything, because the intricacy has brought with it information, support, insight, and understanding. Nonetheless, good things come with unpleasant things, and vice versa.